Gone

Angelique Ambers

 

I feel myself slipping away,
Losing touch with reality,
Forgetting the girl I was,
Because someone new has taken her place,
And when I look in the mirror I see my reflection,
But I do not see me.
Where have I gone?
Leaving so quick.
But all my friends and family could see.
A plastered smile upon my face,
To erase my many and countless fuck ups.
Damn when will I get it right.
Embody the spirit of the younger,
Naïve girl who believed that shit actually comes true.
Until I realized this isn’t Disney,
And I damn sure am not a princess.
Losing myself amidst all the drama….. and temporary problems.
I want to escape it.
I want to go back to the old me.
The determined willful, hopeful girl.
Believing that I could conquer the world.
But that is long before I realized shooting stars aren’t for wishing.
And the more I see the more I know,
That some things happen,
And there are just those people good things happen to.
Motivation lingers, but slowly vanishes.
Cannot force myself to believe in fantasies.
My heart aches longing to be the dreamer I once was.
And I long for his touch.
Daddy’s touch.
But reality sets in far too soon.
And since you’ve come into my life,
There’s been nothing but gloom,
But in my fret, I know I need you.
But I know that need is a want.
Selfish indeed. Hindrance over me.
I want you gone.
As you drag me down into your addiction
Cycle of wasting the day away,
I slowly fade, nothing left to say.

Euphemism Campus Box 5555 Illinois State University Normal, IL 61790