Vol.3 Issue.1

Brian Hillery is a bearded con-artist, who is tragically in love with his wife, Jessica Warning. She does not wear a beard, however is most certainly a con-artist of equal prowess.

Stupid Fruit

Brian Hillery


Oh fruit, why you so stupid?

If survival is your goal, perhaps your innards should taste like cigarette ash,

Or poopie baby diapers, or burnt plastic.

Even mom’s pot roast would make more sense.


Then again, fruit, maybe you ain’t as stupid as you might appear,

At first blush.

For if you did, in fact, taste like bird shit, instead of sunshine youth goodness,

Likely this poem would not have been written.


So congrats, fruit, you done it again,

Worming your way into our hearts,

Planting your seeds of future promises,

Blossoming from page to eye, mouth to ear.

Euphemism Campus Box 5555 Illinois State University Normal, IL 61790