Twisted Metaphors

Victoria Davis

Jumping on my trampoline, I felt a wonderful sensation I had never felt before. I felt as perky as a breakup. Crazy, I know, but you would not understand unless you were as sure as glue like me. Being on that trampoline, one can be as angular as coffee making out-of-this-world poses or jump super fast to be as quick as a pickle. You may be as rich as a baby, but no amount of money can make one feel as pretty as a fox on that jumping machine. This extraordinary aerial adventure makes the average person feel as regular as a supermodel. I know you are crying like a queen because you cannot fathom such an event, but you will be as lonely as pepper until you buy yourself one of these amazing creations. I promise you that mine has been as reliable as a braggart since I have bought it. Who knows? Maybe I will invite you over sometime to experience it for yourself.

Euphemism Campus Box 4240 Illinois State University, Normal, IL 61790-4240