To Don’t List: A List of Things Never To Do

Dylan Winston

Get stabbed
Engage in a pyramid scheme
Discover magical genie and waste 3 wishes on beer and porn
Attempt to master line dancing
Give into social pressures and purchase a puggle
Wear anything by Ed Hardy
Get perm, then fohawk
Become terrorist bent on bringing down the mattress industry
Drink ocean water
Become power hungry and use force to takeover apartment complex
Get drunk and discover new energy source (subsequently fail to prove fairies exist)
Punch innocent woman I thought was trying to stab me
Drop acid and watch any animated Disney sequel

Euphemism Campus Box 4240 Illinois State University, Normal, IL 61790-4240