An Ode to Adequacy

Adam Wiemslage

 

Girl
You know if you don’t mind bein’ with me
I’ll probably be waiting
Cause really,
who else could I be seeing?

 

and girl
when we make love I’ll bring quality condoms-

I can’t afford nothing’ fancy
but haven’t you heard mo’ money mo’ problems?

 

At least I’ll make sure
that my rubber fits
and
I’ll love you all the time
for 5-10 minutes

 

And girl
I know you’d find it embarrassing
if your friends new we were fucking
but my black blinds are always closed
and I have tinted windows
so don’t worry

your friends can’t have seen us

 

did I mention I have an average sized penis?

 

Ya girl
I’ll take you to my love shack.
and there may be a vast majority
of guys whose technique is way past me.
but you know I’ll try my best every time
we do the nasty.

 

And I got foreign flags above my bed
so you can get back to your roots,
but I can’t speak to you in another language
when were on it knockin’ the boots.

 

My charm is sub-par
and I’m definitely not ripped
but when we bump uglies
it’ll be adequate.

 

So if you’re down
with nerdy and shy
awkward sincerity
in too nice of a guy
and you’re not lookin’ to find yourself a husband
be with me and my barely adequate lovin’

Euphemism Campus Box 5555 Illinois State University Normal, IL 61790