The excitement was generating an immediacy as the expression of her face faded away from
the city at night. I wanted to get up and look for answers. The words were out in the open, but
my real questions were un-asked. The plane landed at dusk. The memory sat, eclipsing the last
light of day.
Voices that make dust retreat. Voices drinking that night, uncertain of their own movement came
cool down to hours. The human habit of viewing stars was on us. Furnished with a thousand
faces and colors and forms, a kiss at her cheek. Mixed colors trail the plane. When I heard you
were married, I fell to the floorboards and wept myself into a ball.
The people we’ve lost lie in ashes, their bodies, empty sources whose words were vanished or
ignored. Violence is a network. I find no way to shut it out.
I smelled the one-pint bottle for the last time, eye-level with a capacity for wander. I did not know
the day white with clouds. I walked where the dark fields of the air as a flavor lay. I stood
balancing on electric light. I remembered the dazzling lights at the front steps, the music in her
garden. I danced of distance, of cornflowers. Toward dawn, I heard meadows. I jumped onto the
path. In the morning, the airplane leaves.
This is all starting to feel sick when you touch, and I’m just watching you. Leaking
tones of turquoise turn in me as I try not to feel the wrong verb. Something in me is blanching
former colors of itself. Why do I want you? You talk too much anyway.
We stood under our stars and talked for a moment about love. We took in each other under the
color change of the skies. You held onto me like a cat in the ocean under the night. The quiet
room was really a moment’s fix. I grind the plant and plant it to bubbles. Wave after wave, the
passing cars remained blank. The smile you saved for me was lost.
No words came through your unhappy eyes as you came out of the house. It had stopped
raining and was blazing with light. I celebrated seeing your eyes with words full of love, hoping
the warmth of them would stir a glisten. I ached with your beauty, but didn’t know the grief
reasons. I reached into the strangeness of the silence and brought our bodies together in further
attempt to break into the sadness I didn’t understand.
I sat lightly resting in your voice. Resting in our beautiful white memory. I wish you were treated
better. I stood in your doorway and we saw the last of each other’s faces. Bags of words hung
between us, untouched. The roof jingled with snow as I warmed to touchskin by the fireplace.
Lying near the flames, I called your touch back.
I had no language to name the moment. You loved me once. Turning with the earth in the dark, I
lay in bed again. The memory was a fairy smell and I couldn’t grasp it as I stared at the glow-in-
the-dark stars. I lay in the vanishing sounds I know I just heard.