Who Has Ears

by Gale Acuff

One day, if it’s a day and it couldn’t 
be a night, either, I’ll be dead and up 
in Heaven, standing in line and waiting 
to be judged by God, hunting 
for me in the Book of Life, hunting for 
my name, that is, and if it’s not there and 
it probably won’t be I guess He’ll point 
to the left or right, meaning  Get out of 
this line and into the one for Hell, so 
I will and even though I’ll want to stand 

my ground (I’m being sent to burn so what 
else can He do to me that’s worse?) I’ll go 
–I know when I’m not wanted but maybe 
Satan will learn to love me down below, 
after one of God’s angels drops me in 
-to the Lake of Everlasting Fire, I 
figure that if God and Jesus reject 
me that I can find someone who needs me 
in Perdition and like I say if no 
one in the Good Place wants me around then 
I’ll find someone who does and if by some 
miracle God tries to redeem me just 
hear me tell Him,  No thanks, I’m perfect where 

I am.  I can’t wait to see the look on 
His face, if He has one. After Sunday 
School today I told Miss Hooker my tale, 
she’s our Sunday School teacher and she had 
to plop down on her stool and I had to 
steady her so she wouldn’t fall but if 
she had and died to boot she’d have gone to 
Heaven sure–I’m not certain if I did 
the right thing but anyway, as for me, 
just 10, I’m not saved and will go to Hell 
if I don’t get salvation but the more 
I think about it the less I truly 
care.  Oh my God, Miss Hooker whimpered–that’s 
simply awful.  She’s got a way with words.